Never in all my life have I been as aware of the aging process as I have been in last six months. At the age of thirty five I have noticed the lines on my face becoming deeper and far wider spread and found myself questioning where the time is going and why the years have to pass so quickly. Then recently my ailing grandfather came to live with my mother and now I am finally beginning to understand that the wrinkles upon ones face are a mark of a full life and not that of a life slipping away. I look at him and I see many things but mostly my thoughts go to that of an emotional nature and really have little to do with his physical presence. I watch him and I remember the grandfather I once knew and try to imagine the father my mother grew up with and I wonder what it would be like to see him as a great grandfather through my daughter‘s eyes.

My mother told me a story about him recently that for me shows the very essence of the man he is and will always be in our hearts. When my grandfather came back from the war as you can imagine things were financially very tight and in those days they did not live in a world with interest free offers or credit cards. He and my grandmother had not enough money to buy Christmas presents for my mother and her three siblings. Instead of them going without my grandfather sold his golf clubs to pay for their gifts and all in all they had a happy Christmas.

If it is one thing my grandfather has always done it is to put his family first. Now he is elderly and even the simplest of chores are an effort for him so my mother has taken on the role of his care giver and it is now her turn to put him first above all else. It is funny watching the roles reverse in this way; I don’t mean funny as in amusing but more in a surreal way. My mother has become a parent to her father and this is in so many ways an incredibly difficult and challenging experience for her and of course for him too. He is used to being the one that cares for and comforts his family and now he has to rely on them to care for and comfort him. As he sits in his armchair and sleeps most of the day away it is hard to know exactly how this is affecting him but we can only hope that when his life is done and he leaves us for a better place that he will take with him the love that we feel within our hearts.

I feel so blessed to have this time with my grandfather and to be able to watch my daughter with him. She is such a sensitive little girl and seems to understand so much more than I thought was possible for some one of the young age of three. When I told her that her great grandfather was coming from Harvey Bay to live with her grandmother she said to me, “I’m going to be his best friend.” She had only met him twice before so for her to accept him into her life in this way without question made my heart fill with pride. From almost day one she has been by his side offering a helping hand when one is required. As my mother helps him to walk down the hall to the bathroom my daughter is always there holding his hand helping to guide him. The first time I watched her take his hand my eyes filled with tears, it is a sight I will never forget and will hold dear for the rest of my days.

If not for my mother taking on this responsibility we would never have been blessed with these special moments that we have since had with him. Right now it is hard for her to find the time to take even a breath but when the time comes to farewell her father she can do so knowing that she gave him a peace that can only come from being surrounded with the love and warmth that a family can bring to you in your time of need. So as this Father’s Day approaches I would like to say thank you to you mum for giving us this time with the only man that has been a strong presence in our lives for all of the days of our lives, a selfless father, a loving grandfather, a proud great grandfather and an exceptional man.

Written by Angela Holland